Living abroad away from home gets difficult sometimes. Sometimes you (read: I) get into funks over it… over the birthdays I’m missing, over the holidays I won’t spend with my family, over the time difference that prohibits me from talking to whom I want and when I want.
But, I think I’ve found a solution to this problem. In fact, I know I have, because I’ve been working on it for the past thirty-five minutes, and this could be the best I’ve felt in a while, aside from when I’m talking to loved ones from home. I guess I should probably backtrack.
While I was still at Rowan, a certain friend who will remain nameless (Charles Kuski) kept on telling me that I should create a StumbleUpon account. Always taking pleasure in doing the opposite of what Charles Kuski tells me to do, I blew him off and very pointedly did not make a Stumble account… until this summer, when my impending departure for Turkey made me want to do nothing in preparation for said departure. So I made this account and figured out how it worked and liked it. And then I got to Turkey and didn’t have internet for three months, so maybe of my online hobbies fell by the wayside. But now all is right in the world, now that I have internet (just kidding, we only have basic cable!), and I began to waste precious time that I used to use in a productive manner by surfing the web.
I think that’s the first time I’ve ever used the phrase “surfing the web.”
Anyways, I started re-Stumbling... or Stumbling again… or whatever. And I found this article that lists “60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days.” I’ll admit, I “favorite” a lot of these types of self-improvement websites; they get way more use than the fitness ones I bookmark, that’s for sure. So, I’m reading this article, and it’s great… de-cluttering all of the things I’ve collected in my Magnolia Hall-sized room would make me feel better… you know, these sorts of self-organization tips always come first, and they do have a lot of merit to them. (Cleaning makes me feel great.)
And I get in the Happiness section of the article is where I reach the first thing I just simply can’t do.
Calling your best friend to chat.
And that’s where I got into this minor funk, at like, six-thirty in the morning. I keep reading, because I’m dedicated, thinking about how about how this stinking self-improvement articles are always written for people who are an the verge of a mid-life crisis or whatever and not struggling, frazzled, over living in a different country where they don’t know the language and blah, blah, blah. I get into such a self-pitying funk that I just completely skip over the Health and Relationship sections in their entirety. Finally, I get to the Social section, and for some reason, I am immediately embarrassed by my self-pitying funk. Who am I to feel so bad for myself? Literally, you guys, disgusted. I’ve been given this amazing privilege that thousands of people are denied each year, and I’m wasting it by being pissed off over the advice in a self-improvement article? One thousand percent embarrassed. I realized that one of the most wonderful things about this experience of being so painfully far away from home and my comfort zone is that it has made me appreciate everything and everyone I have in my life, and how dare I take all of that for granted. And that’s something I am very thankful for, but I don’t think just knowing what, and especially who, I appreciate is enough. It’s great that I feel that way, but people should know it. The people who I appreciate and love and care about should know, and everyone should know who they are; you should take time out of your day to acknowledge the things that make you happy.
So that’s how I’m going to better my life. (That, and yoga.) Every day (that I have access to the internet), I’m going to post, as per the advice in this article, five to ten things I am thankful for, as well as one person who I appreciate. Maybe that sounds a little self-righteous, but I’ll tell you something: on Mondays, I’m supposed to teach three hours of English. Well, no one comes to those classes anymore, so I spent three hours today writing about all of the things and people I am thankful for and I feel great. It’s more than that though—writing about the people you love just makes you love them so much more. And of course, it makes you miss them that much more… and it helps put things into perspective. Because there are things that I miss while I am here in Turkey, but there are things that are just so worth the wait to go home that, in a twisted way, it make me glad that I’m far away to recognize that.
Today I’m thankful for:
- this opportunity. So cheesy, but whatevs. Sometimes, you forget these sorts of things, and it’s a good to remind yourself every once in a while.
- for the fact that literally have no idea what I want to do with my life after this year… I think it keeps my ass in check and on the lookout for new things on the horizon.
- for the man that is supposedly changing out propane tank for our stove today so I can go back to making omelettes for breakfast (and lunch… and dinner).
- for the student who gives up his Mondays mornings to help me learn Turkish.
- for the advent calendar my aunt MADE me that brightens my mornings.
- for dress-up Crocs and how comfortable they are.
(I didn’t say these would be profound things I was thankful for.)
I appreciate:
(Bonus: because I have two parents, I’m writing about two people today because how could I write about one and not the other?)
My mother.
She really is the greatest. And I know everyone says that about their mother; you’re, like, contractually obligated to do so. But man, is she great. She’s always there for me and really is my biggest fan. When she helped me pack for Turkey, she included notes in all of the random and unnecessary toiletries we packed. And she helped me pack, even though sending me off to Turkey was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She is supportive of all of my decisions, because she feels as though I make good ones (most of the time), and she’s proud of me. I think that makes a big difference to people; it’s one thing for your parents to tell you they’re proud of you, it’s another thing to be able to feel their pride in you as their child. And you know what? Whenever someone tells my I look like my mother or I’m so much like my mother, it make me proud, because she is an extraordinary woman who has done extraordinary things and has dealt with far more than most people will ever have to deal with in there lives. I think sometimes it’s too much of a compliment, when people say these sorts of things, because she is a difficult role model to try and emulate, but goddamn, am I going to give it my best shot.
My father.
This guy. I can tell you right now that’s he’s already crying reading this, am I right? I have to admit, this summer I was a little irritated with my dad, because he kept on stealing my thunder—he literally told everyone in all of Monmouth County (possibly even New Jersey) that I had won a Fulbright scholarship. He told more people about it than I did, and if I mentioned to someone in front of him that I was going to teach English in Turkey for a year, he would interject, “Yeah, on a Fulbright scholarship! Did she tell you she’s on a Fulbright scholarship? It’s a real big deal. She’s a Fulbright scholar. Wait till people see that on her resume.” This is not an exaggeration. And as frustrating as it got, it only proved to me, again, how proud of me my parents are. Too proud, maybe, but still. I can’t begin to put into words how much appreciate his support when, like my mother, he was dreading the Sunday afternoon drive to Newark to drop me off for my flight. And we argue and we fight, but no one lets me take my anger out on them like my dad does. How can you find fault with someone who supports their child through thick and then? You can’t; that’s the epitome of what a good parent is.
So, that’s that. Helps me keep perspective, I guess. And it's lame but I'm okay with it.
Calling your best friend to chat.
And that’s where I got into this minor funk, at like, six-thirty in the morning. I keep reading, because I’m dedicated, thinking about how about how this stinking self-improvement articles are always written for people who are an the verge of a mid-life crisis or whatever and not struggling, frazzled, over living in a different country where they don’t know the language and blah, blah, blah. I get into such a self-pitying funk that I just completely skip over the Health and Relationship sections in their entirety. Finally, I get to the Social section, and for some reason, I am immediately embarrassed by my self-pitying funk. Who am I to feel so bad for myself? Literally, you guys, disgusted. I’ve been given this amazing privilege that thousands of people are denied each year, and I’m wasting it by being pissed off over the advice in a self-improvement article? One thousand percent embarrassed. I realized that one of the most wonderful things about this experience of being so painfully far away from home and my comfort zone is that it has made me appreciate everything and everyone I have in my life, and how dare I take all of that for granted. And that’s something I am very thankful for, but I don’t think just knowing what, and especially who, I appreciate is enough. It’s great that I feel that way, but people should know it. The people who I appreciate and love and care about should know, and everyone should know who they are; you should take time out of your day to acknowledge the things that make you happy.
So that’s how I’m going to better my life. (That, and yoga.) Every day (that I have access to the internet), I’m going to post, as per the advice in this article, five to ten things I am thankful for, as well as one person who I appreciate. Maybe that sounds a little self-righteous, but I’ll tell you something: on Mondays, I’m supposed to teach three hours of English. Well, no one comes to those classes anymore, so I spent three hours today writing about all of the things and people I am thankful for and I feel great. It’s more than that though—writing about the people you love just makes you love them so much more. And of course, it makes you miss them that much more… and it helps put things into perspective. Because there are things that I miss while I am here in Turkey, but there are things that are just so worth the wait to go home that, in a twisted way, it make me glad that I’m far away to recognize that.
Today I’m thankful for:
- this opportunity. So cheesy, but whatevs. Sometimes, you forget these sorts of things, and it’s a good to remind yourself every once in a while.
- for the fact that literally have no idea what I want to do with my life after this year… I think it keeps my ass in check and on the lookout for new things on the horizon.
- for the man that is supposedly changing out propane tank for our stove today so I can go back to making omelettes for breakfast (and lunch… and dinner).
- for the student who gives up his Mondays mornings to help me learn Turkish.
- for the advent calendar my aunt MADE me that brightens my mornings.
- for dress-up Crocs and how comfortable they are.
(I didn’t say these would be profound things I was thankful for.)
I appreciate:
(Bonus: because I have two parents, I’m writing about two people today because how could I write about one and not the other?)
My mother.
She really is the greatest. And I know everyone says that about their mother; you’re, like, contractually obligated to do so. But man, is she great. She’s always there for me and really is my biggest fan. When she helped me pack for Turkey, she included notes in all of the random and unnecessary toiletries we packed. And she helped me pack, even though sending me off to Turkey was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She is supportive of all of my decisions, because she feels as though I make good ones (most of the time), and she’s proud of me. I think that makes a big difference to people; it’s one thing for your parents to tell you they’re proud of you, it’s another thing to be able to feel their pride in you as their child. And you know what? Whenever someone tells my I look like my mother or I’m so much like my mother, it make me proud, because she is an extraordinary woman who has done extraordinary things and has dealt with far more than most people will ever have to deal with in there lives. I think sometimes it’s too much of a compliment, when people say these sorts of things, because she is a difficult role model to try and emulate, but goddamn, am I going to give it my best shot.
My father.
This guy. I can tell you right now that’s he’s already crying reading this, am I right? I have to admit, this summer I was a little irritated with my dad, because he kept on stealing my thunder—he literally told everyone in all of Monmouth County (possibly even New Jersey) that I had won a Fulbright scholarship. He told more people about it than I did, and if I mentioned to someone in front of him that I was going to teach English in Turkey for a year, he would interject, “Yeah, on a Fulbright scholarship! Did she tell you she’s on a Fulbright scholarship? It’s a real big deal. She’s a Fulbright scholar. Wait till people see that on her resume.” This is not an exaggeration. And as frustrating as it got, it only proved to me, again, how proud of me my parents are. Too proud, maybe, but still. I can’t begin to put into words how much appreciate his support when, like my mother, he was dreading the Sunday afternoon drive to Newark to drop me off for my flight. And we argue and we fight, but no one lets me take my anger out on them like my dad does. How can you find fault with someone who supports their child through thick and then? You can’t; that’s the epitome of what a good parent is.
So, that’s that. Helps me keep perspective, I guess. And it's lame but I'm okay with it.
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| My list of all the things that will be so worth my seven-month wait. |
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