Let me also mention that I have a rough time planning any or sort of activity for my English language teacher speaking classes for a number of reasons. First, I have fifty students in each class, and second, I consistently run into some sort of technology issue each week without fail. However, it appeared as though this week I have finally cracked whatever code that had previously existed and I had not one, but two near-perfect speaking classed tonight.
There's a lot of backstory to this entire set of circumstances, so bear with me. I was able to plan a few weeks of activities in advance two weekends ago, and I decided to give this particular activity a go with my students. I had been given a similar assignment when I was in high school, and I really enjoyed it.
What was the assignment?
Write your own obituary.
After explaining what an obituary was and explaining what they had to do last week, my students seemed somewhat interested. I told them to write, like, three to four paragraphs and make everything about their lives up until when they graduate from university true, and then make up the rest and make it as outrageous as possible.
I have to say, I have never been less disappointed with a group of students ever. There is this belief that because the Turkish education and instruction model has been so dependent on rote memorization and learning in the past, students today have difficulty being creative and thinking outside of the box (hope you appreciate that contradictory cliche). I don't know who is perpetuating this myth, or maybe I just got lucky, but my students are constantly outdoing themselves. And the best part? They're funny as all hell.
So every student wrote their own obituary and read it in two or three different groups of four. After everyone in each group had read their obituary aloud, all four people casted a vote for their favorite; we did this a few times, just so everyone spoke as much as possible. After all of the rounds, I counted the votes and named six semi-finalists who read their papers in front of the entire class, and then another vote was taken. I can safely say that the first place winners in both classes won by a landslide of votes, but there were just so many outside bits that I heard while I walked around the room that I had to share them with you. If you don't find them funny... well, benim sorunum değil.
The winner in my first class of the night really surprised me with how well her obituary was written and how clever it was. To give you some context, she wrote about how she and her husband had moved to Italy, when he was subsequently diagnosed with cancer. What did they do to support their family in their time of hardship?
"So the could support their family to not let them starve, [she] and her husband sold drugs. But they were very good people."
So how did she die?
"Because of the drugs the Mafia got angry and [killed] her. She was a beautiful person. We will never forget you."
I happened to make a number of appearances in the obituaries in my second class; this also happens a lot when I have them write dialogues-- I get handed "my lines" just before they start. One student said that "while [he] was in university, he met Mary. She was a beautiful English teacher. Her sayings were really great for him and her classes were fun. She was very good."
I'm trying not think about what impact impending final exams had on this assignment.
The şampiyon of the second class made me an absolutely pivotal part of his life story. Actually, the entire assignment was crucial to the development of his future life.
"His whole life was changed when he met Mary and she gave him this assignment. She said there was a prize for the winner, and [he] hoped to win very much. When he won he went to Mary's office to get the prize. 'What's the prize?' he said. 'I'll tell you!' she said. 'I am not a teacher, but a very famous writer. The prize is to go to New Jersie {admirable attempt!} and meet my friends.' [He] was so excited and he went to New Jersie to meet Mary's writer friends and met one friend named Rihanna. She was very beautiful and fell in love with [him]. They talked about her bestselling book Umbrella {so, to answer your question, yes, that Rihanna} she said, 'Will you marry me?' and he said. 'Let me think about it. Okay.'"
So how did this prolific writer meet his untimely end?
"They went on vacation where he was swimming and he met a mermaid who said, "Hello. Kiss me and you will be king of my world. But he kissed her and her lips were poison. So he died."
I also had one student, not a finalist, who lived in an alternative universe where he was stranded on a desert island until Tom Hanks' character from Cast Away was also stranded there and he felt as though it was just a little to crowded for his taste.
Two girls wrote their obituaries in tandem regarding how they both married Charlie Sheen, who stayed with one of them on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays and the other on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays... I guess even Charlie Sheen deserves a day of rest. One of these ladies was famous for her red lipstick, the chemicals in which had built up over time and killed her.
I got another laugh from a student who married the daughter of a wealthy Turkish businessman and was killed on a winter skiing holiday by an "ice stalactite." He meant icicle, but how much more badass does "ice stalactite" sound? I love mistranslations.
The real kicker of the night was one student who somehow ended up in jail in the United States (this actually happened a lot), but it was okay, because "he made lots of friends in prison, especially very large inmates." I don't think I have to explain all of the levels upon which that works.
Like I said, they were very creative and they're just so funny. I didn't mean for this to be so long, I just couldn't pick a favorite three, so I just kept on writing. It's because I'm a famous writer, if you didn't know.
So before you get even more bored, let me get my five things that I'm thankful for and my person I appreciate out of the way.
I'm thankful:
1. that I had the foresight to bring my own pillowcase from my own bed because it smells a little bit like my room still.
2. for chocolate, even though Turkish chocolate isn't are good as American-brand products... like m&ms. I have dreams about how much I miss m&ms.
3. that other people get just as homesick as I do. Not that I'm thankful that they're homesick, I'm just thankful to have people to talk to that are going through the same thing.
4. for Skype and Facebook and all of the other social media platforms that have kept me connected to everyone I love and miss at home.
5. for the fact that finals at Rowan are almost over and I'll finally be able to talk to people freely without feeling like I'm bothering them or distracting them.
6. for my ELT students, because despite how bad of a mood I might be in before there classes, I know I'll be guaranteed a few good laughs be the end of our time together.
I appreciate:
My brother.
Again, backstory... From elementary school all of the way through high school, out mother made sure that we never had the same teachers so neither of us would be compared to the other. While we're very similar, we're also very different in many ways. And despite thirteen years of attending the same schools, we end up going to the same university and taking on the same majors. Before I talk about why I think my brother is really wonderful, I'd like to make like the third serious statement ever on this dumb blog. I knew that people would recognize Mikey as my brother when he got to Rowan, a) because "Spanarkel" isn't an all too common last name, and b) because we are each other gender opposites. And of course, he mentioned this to me... "Oh, so-and-so is in my whatever class and says hey... I was in the caf and someone asked me if we were related... Some kid was staring at me, he probably knows you."I didn't expect for him to tell me that people were doing a comparative analysis of our achievements and telling him he had big shoes to fill. I was really angry, because to those of you who would have the nerve to say that to someone, you don't know him. You don't know what he's achieved and what his successes include. Aside from being the greatest brother you could ask for, he is one of the funniest and smartest people I know. He's a stronger person than I can ever hope to be after everything's he's had to deal with before he was even legally allowed to vote. And I think it is a telling sign of his character that despite these nonsensical comparisons he is still proud of me. His pride in what I have done and what I am doing means more to me than the rest of the world combined. Does he irritate me to an ungodly level? Of course, he's my younger brother, that's what he's supposed to do. Do we fight? Like cats and dogs. Am I happy to know that he still values my opinion and comes to me for advice? More than you could ever know. And I'm so proud of him and I know that he'll achieve everything he wants in his own right and on his own time and I'm excited to support him all the way.
love the part about your brother :) and glad your class is going well!
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